nicaragua

The summer of 2006--this year (soon to finish!)--was pretty crazy for me. i wont tell all that happened because i dont want to. but.....I finally got to go back to Nicaragua after eight years-after our final move here to the u.s.
it was right after graduation so it was kind of like a graduation gift. It was strange going back after so many years. I had come to the US when I was about eight years old then finally going back at sixteen. it didn't seem real. everything was happening, but it was as if i wasn't in it. I was there, present, but reality hadnt set in. not when we flew into managua. not when everyone around me spoke spanish and the air already felt hot and humid. not even when i heard abuelita and abuelito's voices calling to us outside the airport. i don't really know when it hit me. maybe it wasn't a sudden realization but a gradual shift. everything was familiar: the streets, the smells, the noises..... dad would point out buildings and name them. remembering what happened here and there....then we got to jinotepe and finally abuelito's house. it was just like i remembered it. running around the bend in the street and into the house. i could just picture the old lady who would go around with a basket on her head shouting out "tortillas!" around the neighborhood. we would make quesadillas and eat gallo pinto. drink pinolillo and semilla de jicaro. go to the market in managua, clutching tightly to my mom's hand and look at the stands and wares of the vendors. each person beckoning, hoping to sell something. sampling the cut fruits and buying fresh cheese. can cheese be fresh? i remember watching them make the different kinds....
i am glad i got to go back. although i wouldn't want to move back and live there for the rest of my life, i want to go back soon. i don't want eight more years to pass without seeing my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins again. our past is something we should never forget, but it isn't something we should live in either.